Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
