There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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