ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
