i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize