There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
i think my cat just said my name.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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