Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
