just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
