Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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