There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
