dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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