I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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