You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
