my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
