We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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