I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
