from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
