just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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