I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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