Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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