great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
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But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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