Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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