her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
