i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
love makes seman taste better
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize