Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize