We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
