what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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