Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
