Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
