so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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