Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
