when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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