after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
