No stitches, just platelets and will power
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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