Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize