with your own penis?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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