if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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