he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Floor bacon is actually really good
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
