remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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