my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
