where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
