I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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