I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
