Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
