In the future we'll all be gay
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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