What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
