What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
