I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize