Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize