Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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