So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
then he tried to convert me to islam
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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