It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My breasts were aching with rage.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.