At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.