The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
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He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
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In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.