David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
