Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I want to fling myself into the sun
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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