I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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