i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Drake has all the answers
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
