Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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