i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
