im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize