Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
