you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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