The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
