I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
