we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
