I got chris browned last night
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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