How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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