My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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