hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
