i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
