oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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