My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
